Perchance a swinging light
What or who this Holiest hour
With lantern a-glower
Puts foot before foot
Entrants boot by boot
Moon-dapple bower
What eyes sweep the room
Broomstraw across the gloom
Peruse yon sleeping tadpole
Gloved hand pulls out of the hole
In his bag a fragment of star
To place it in center of the scar
Of moonlight across the blanket scroll
Inside the many slopes and pocks
Listening for the swoosh of approaching sleigh and deer.
He lolled across the coarse stone sipping foaming beer.
In his hand a lasso to trap the fat man's ride,
A sword and pistol pressing his side.
"Swoo-" He hears it on high.
"-oosh'. He flings his rope to the sky.
With a twang the line grows taught;
Santa, elves, and deer are caught.
"I've got you for all your lies.
Telling folks the reindeer are boys,
Giving out on the savior's birth mere toys;
I could make you walk a plank.
Arrr, in fact, my ship just sank.
Would ye be for giving a poor pirate lad a ride?
I'll take it and swallow my pride."
"Get in young man," spoke stern Santa.
"Folks like you make me need Mylanta.
What's this guff that I'm a liar?
The truth of Christmas is life's fire,
With a little harmless fun.
Hey, look what I've done.
I don't mean to make you cry, friend.
Take this gift and let our argument end."
"Arr; I'm a pirate; I can never change.
In the end, I'm gonna rob you though it seems strange.
Can you keep me an appointment for the mid of May?
For I intend to waylay you on the one called May Day."
"Certainly, I can;
Here shake my hand."
He let Pete down
And turned the sleigh around.
"Adios, you pirate," he yelled.
"Open your gift; it's swell."
The pirate removed the patch from his one eye
He opened the gift and began to cry.
"Arr, a teddy bear,
With curly brown hair.
Thank you, Santa Claus.
We'll not fight; there's no cause."
And Santa cried "Hi yo reindeer"
And sailed into a sky serene and clear.
To the lands of gloom and grue,
Where the heart of the season
Knows not spirit's treason;
But ministers to wrath and rue.
"Santa," said one elf named Joe,
"There's a child whose father says no
When asked if there is love named Santa.
The child has no gift;
He's not on the list.
Oh, Santa, what is the answer?"
Santa clucked sadly with woe;
"There is no answer friend Joe;
For magic dust I sprinkle
To make their hearts twinkle;
But, I cannot alter the nature
Of despair, of disbelief and failure
If hearts are closed and avenues cut off."
He choked with a sob and a cough.
That one's meager Christmas they served,
That one they lost the nerve.
Another one slept in booze and pills,
Soon to forget his worldly ills.
And when they left the plain of gloom and sadness
It left a stain on all their remaining gladness.
Santa rests, a toddy in hand.
He notes young Linda moved without warning;
She lived at the house below just this morning.
He sends elf Joe to reconnoiter
Searching here and across the border.
She's here, Joe signals;
It's the girl with the pigtails.
They swoop; they land.
Asleep in the sand
The whole family huddled.
The elf's approach, befuddled.
I don't understand why some must hide.
And Joe the elf stood back and cried.