I hide to view Santa
I watch from his back
He bends near the mantle
Wo - butt crack
He helps himself to the gin
Becoming ever so jolly
He exits with a grin
Falls into the holly
The elves plop him on the sleigh
His feet stuck in the air
"How much does he weigh?
He's not one; he's a pair"
I saw them slip into the night like a moving star
Rushed to see if he'd left any liquor at the bar
Just one drunken reindeer
But no liquor, not even a beer
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